Your Cross

A friend sent me the following. It deeply correlates to the wisdom of my spiritual director. I thought I'd share it too!!

“Your Cross” 
By St. Francis De Sales

The everlasting God has in His wisdom foreseen from eternity the cross that He now presents to you as a gift from His inmost heart. This cross He now sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His Divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving arms and weighed with His own hands to see that it be not one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you. He has blessed it with His holy Name, anointed it with His consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God.

Our decision

Family and friends, we write with heavy, but peaceful hearts that we have decided not to continue the pursuit of adopting Isaiah. Two days after the consent that named us his parents, a conflict arose that would cause us to go to court to fight for his custody. We feel we would be entering a losing battle that would also cause Isaiah to change hands several times over the next few months. We are limiting details here, but perhaps in the upcoming weeks we can share more via email.

We have peace in this decision, though we miss Isaiah greatly, and it breaks our hearts to lose this sweet child of God. We know that we had the beautiful opportunity to help him grow strong in his first three weeks of life. We would never take that gift away from him. Of course he is a gift to us.

We know we could not possibly be as strong as we are without your prayers. We are grateful.

I know many people are handling this differently, we just pray that if you are sad, that you are not angry. We pray that you can recognize God's presence even if it doesn't make sense. Nathan and I are closely united to the cross, and we know God is with us, and so we must continue to glorify him and praise him as best we can.

There are several things I would like to post that have struck me over these past several trying days...perhaps I can post them as we process. For now, I leave you with the words of my spiritual director. Words we all can apply to this circumstance and towards all the difficult circumstances in ours lives.

"The Lord is behind all of this even if it is hard to know what in the world He is doing!

It is in times when things get harder or more mysterious where we either lose the Faith or grow in a tremendous way. You are on the cross. It is not a pleasant place to be. Yet it is the place where God manifests himself. Indeed it is an incredible place to be, to gain perspective on God's way to do and to see things. Do not try to understand it all. It is too hard. Just remember he is there with you. He is crying as you are. He is in pain as you are. In Gethsemane he calls out for God to make it stop. This is what I mean when I say he is there. Jesus will help you to receive and accept the will of the Father waiting for his complete manifestation."

Our Lady Untier of Knots,

Pray for us.

P.S. Isaiah's name proves to be very fitting:

Isaiah 55:8-9

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Update

Unfortunately we just heard tonight that our court date has been postponed. We do not yet know what the future holds. Hopefully we will learn more tomorrow. We humbly ask for your continued prayers in this time of waiting.

Tomorrow!

Friends and family,

We cannot thank you enough for your prayers and thoughts. We didn't know how we would ever make it to tomorrow, but here we are the night before. Of course we are anxious, but we have hope! We will keep you posted tomorrow via the blog! We have been saying prayers for you too in return, in this time of waiting!

With great love and hope,
Lauren, Nathan, and Isaiah

Our Lady Untier of Knots, pray for us!

Prayers for Thursday

Family and friends, if this post is a bit confusing, please see the post prior. We just ask for your prayers. The conflict we are facing will need to be resolved in court on Thursday. Please pray for God's will and for all involved to honor the preference of the birth parents which is to place Isaiah into our family.

If anything of significance should unfold before Thursday we will let you know. Later tonight  we will hopefully post more pics for your viewing pleasure.

An Invitation to Pray!!!

Family and friends, we write a little shocked ourselves but there has been a development that may interfere with our adoption plans. Unfortunately this came about after we were named the parents of Isaiah. We are not going to go into great detail at this time, in order to protect all involved, but we ask that you pray for God's will. Of course this is unsettling to us, but right now we have hope this adoption will continue as planned. This is also the desire of the birth parents as well and the conflict is not regarding their consent. We hope and pray you too can find peace and hope, and not feel angry or anxious. We know for sure that God's Will will prevail. And we have great hope Isaiah will come home with us.

No matter what, we are his parents right now and we will love him, serve him, and pray for him in these days of waiting. God is truly showing us that He is in control, and boy is it a wild ride! :)

Our Lady Untier of Knots

We also know that over these past few months Our Lady Untier of Knots has done amazing things in our lives and for those whom we have asked her intercession. So we invite you to pray this novena for our intentions with Isaiah and for your own intentions. The novena is below. Thanks for your continued prayers and support, we are forever indebted to you!

You can pray this shorter version for nine days, or you can pray with the longer novena linked below. When we were first introduced to the longer version, it was suggested a decade of the rosary was prayed with the prayers, but the longer version invites you to pray a 5 decade rosary. If you want to join in, pray the way that is best for you. This is Pope Francis' favorite Marian devotion!

Shorter version:

Pope Francis's Prayer to Our Lady Untier of Knots
Jorge Bergoglio brought this devotion to Argentina and composed this prayer.

Holy Mary, full of God's presence during the days of your life,
you accepted with full humility the Father's will,
and the Devil was never capable to tie you around with his confusion
Once with your son you interceded for our difficulties,
and, full of kindness and patience you gave us example of how to untie the knots of our life.
And by remaining forever Our Mother,
you put in order, and make more clear the ties that link us to the Lord.
Holy Mother, Mother of God, and our Mother,
to you, who untie with motherly heart the knots of our life, we pray to you to receive in your hands (the name of person),
and to free him/her of the knots and confusion with which our enemy attacks.
Through your grace, your intercession, and your example,
deliver us from all evil, Our Lady, and untie the knots that prevent us from being united with God,
so that we, free from sin and error, may find Him in all things, may have our hearts placed in Him, and may serve Him always in our brothers and sisters. Amen 

The longer version:

http://www.theholyrosary.org/maryundoerknots

Desiring God's Will

Here is a beautiful meditation found in today's Magnificat.

"We should not be satisfied with desiring what God wills, but must desire it how he wishes it when he wishes it and for the reason and purpose he wishes it..."

(Click image to enlarge)

Delighting in the Lord in the Midst of Disappointment

“Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” – Psalm 37:4

This past we have had much time to reflect upon the events that happened in Oklahoma.  First, we want to thank you and the many others that have been praying for us. People have asked us how we are hanging in there.  We respond, “Better than we expected.”  We know that this is because of the many graces that we are receiving from each of you, our “cloud of witnesses,” that have been such an inspiration of support and sympathy to us in this time. 

There are a couple of key reflections that we want to share that we continue to believe after our experience with our failed adoption (what the adoption world calls a “disappointment.”  This is how we will refer to it throughout this post).

1)    Events in life happen for a reason.  We cannot predict events in our lives.  In fact most events that happen to us are out of our control.  It is our response that matters.  The disappointment was not easy to take and the days in Oklahoma were filled with anxiety and fear.  However, we realized that we had each other and we could get through anything together (and with God), so we held on to each other and reached out in faith that the disappointment that we went through happened for a reason.  We trust that God not only has a plan for us, but for the birth mother and the baby, as well. 

2)    God is a good God and only good can come from Him.  We believe that not only did this disappointment have a reason behind it, but God is using it for good.  We may never know the reason or all the goods that come from it (at least not in this life).  We can already see how this has brought us closer together and how loved we have felt from so many.  But these blessings are just the beginning, the little foundation of good that God can and will pour upon us and others because of this experience.  We truly trust in His care for us and that he will keep guiding us along the path to us starting our family.

3)    We feel peace.  This is one of the great graces of your prayers and support.  We have had our moments of struggle since the disappointment, but your prayers have given our hearts peace.  This peace is giving us the strength to forgive any wrong that we have felt through the process and courage to continue with the adoption process. 

We wanted to close with a Scripture passage that struck us this week from 2 Timothy 1:8-9:

"Do not be ashamed then of testifying to our Lord…but share in suffering for the gospel in the power of God, who saved us and called us with a holy calling, not in virtue of our works but in virtue of his own purpose."

We were taken by the words, “in virtue of his own purpose.”  God has a plan, particular in moments of suffering.  This gift of suffering is often times part of the plan, just as He went to the Cross and gave His gift of suffering for all of us. We continue to trust in God’s plan for our lives and thank God for the gifts so many people are to us.    

Thank you for all of your Love and Support!
Lauren and Nathan

Okay....

At least we haven't lost our sense of humor :)

Words of Comfort

Friends and Family, as many of you wrote, there are no words. But there are words of forgiveness and peace.

Many of you said that our trust in God’s plan is inspiring, but what has been inspiring to us is the amount of grace we feel from each of your prayers. It is truly this grace that has granted us an abundance of peace, and forgiveness. We hope this experience helps to remind all of us, of the power of prayer and the power of praise!

Here are just a few quotes that people sent or we came across to ease our disappointment and pain. We thank you all for your sweet notes, and we apologize if we have not responded yet!

+ + +

"We are invited to let ourselves be visited in our littleness, our poverty, our weaknesses, to receive a new strength: the strength of trust and faith."

~Jacques Philippe, The Way of Trust and Love (2 Cor. 12:9)

+ + +

"Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

~1 Thess. 5:18

+ + +

“Always be joyful. Always keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Jesus."

~1 Thess 5:16-18

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“Rest in peace. Everything is in God’s control.” 

~ St. Philomena

+ + +

"It is quite true that the most faithful servants of the Blessed Virgin, being also her greatest favorites, receive from her the greatest graces and favors of Heaven, which are crosses.  But I maintain that it is also the servants of Mary who carry these crosses with more ease, more merit, and more glory.  That which would stay the progress of another a thousand times, over, or perhaps would make him fall, does not once stop their steps, but rather enables them to advance; because that good Mother, all full of grace and of the the unction of the Holy Spirit, prepares her servants' crosses with so much maternal sweetness and pure love as to make them gladly acceptable, no matter how bitter they may be in themselves."

~St. Louis de Monfort

(What is amazing about this quote is that I, Lauren, started the Marian Consecration just a few days before we received the call about the baby. I finished this consecration just two weeks before he was born. I know I can thank this Consecration for the joy of anticipation, and the peace in disappointment.)

Prayers for John Paul

Well, we all are waiting for John Paul Xavier Stanley's arrival. He is officially due on January 20th. So we anxiously await in these final days! I never realized how long it would feel as we wait these final days :)

As we await his arrival, we invite you to join us in prayer for John Paul's safe delivery, for his health, and for the safety and health of his birth mother. We also ask you to pray for his birth family as this will be a very difficult, yet heroic moment in their lives.

Please, if you would like, join us in one or two of these prayers.

Prayers for John Paul Xavier: 
Through the intercession of Blessed Pope John Paul:

O Holy Trinity,
we thank you for having given to the Church
Pope John Paul II,
and for having made him shine with your fatherly tenderness,
the glory of the Cross of Christ and the splendor of the Spirit of love

He, trusting completely in your infinite mercy
and in the maternal intercession of Mary, has shown himself
in the likeness of Jesus the Good Shepherd
and has pointed out to us holiness
as the path to reach eternal communion with You.

Grant us, through his intercession,
according to your will, the grace that we implore (for John Paul Xavier & his birth family),
in the hope that he will soon be numbered among your saints.
Amen.

Prayers for John Paul Xavier, while in the womb, and for all those expecting:
Rite for the Blessing of a Child in the Womb 
(outside of the Mass)

God, author of all life,

bless, we pray, this unborn child;

give constant protection

and grant a healthy birth

that is the sign of our rebirth one day

into the eternal rejoicing of heaven.

Lord, who have brought to this woman

the wondrous joy of motherhood,

grant her comfort in all anxiety

and make her determined

to lead her child along the ways of salvation.

Lord of the ages,

who have singled out this man

to know the grace and pride of fatherhood,

grant him courage in this new responsibility,

and make him an example of justice and truth for

this child.

Lord, endow this family with sincere and enduring love

as they prepare to welcome this child into

their midst.

Lord, you have put into the hearts of all men and

women of good will a great awe and wonder at the gift of new life;

fill this (parish) community with faithfulness to the teachings of the Gospel

and new resolve to share in the spiritual formation of this child in Christ

our Savior, who lives and reigns for ever and ever.

Amen.

~found in January's Magnificat

SEEK 2013: FOCUS Conference

January 2nd - January 6th was a great week for Fellowship Of Catholic University Students (FOCUS). They held a National FOCUS Conference in Orlando, Florida. 6063 (well it may have been closer to 6300) souls attended this conference, the largest number of attendees yet!

We decided it was best that I not attend, just in case John Paul should arrive early. We just didn't want to risk both of us missing the birth. Well as we all know, John Paul did not make his grand appearance, and I missed out on a great week in Florida, but we feel good about the choice we made, regardless.

Hopefully, Nathan can fill you in more on his time in Florida, but all I hear is how amazing the conference was. I can't tell you how impacting it was to be far away and hear that thousands of souls decided to go to confession. Everyone adored our Lord Jesus Christ in Adoration and Eucharistic Processions. Friendships were formed, and deeper relationships with Jesus Christ were blessed.

Nathan had the honor of speaking at a recruitment event for those interested in being future FOCUS missionaries. He spoke in front of 700 juniors and seniors in college, including some current missionaries! From what I hear, he did a great job! I am excited to see FOCUS' growth over these upcoming years.

To learn more about how the conference impacted thousands of young lives, please check out these sites. You can watch videos and read passages. Once stories are posted, I will try to repost some of them as well!

http://seek2013.com/
https://www.facebook.com/focuscatholic?fref=ts

Lauren

The Christmas Season

This Christmas we spent in Kansas City with Nathan's family! I think we lived Christmas to the fullest with several celebrations!

We started Christmas Eve with Mass at the Immaculate Conception Cathedral. Then we went to Nathan's mom's cousin's house for a meal. The final event was a traditional game of "The night before Christmas." We all had a wrapped present in our hands. Each time the word "the" was read by Nathan's brother Parker, you had to rotate gifts. At the end of the story, the gift in your hand was your present.

Christmas morning we awoke to some gifts. Then we had a wonderful brunch and afternoon with Nathan's parents, grandparents, brother, aunt and uncle.

A few days later, we had a reminiscing night where we looked through old photos and heard stories from Nathan's grandparents! We were also gifted with Nathan's baptismal outfit made by his grandmother! We cannot wait to welcome John Paul into the love of  Christ's upon his baptism wearing the same outfit as Nathan!

The celebrations did not end there. We then traveled to Marceline, MO where Nathan's dad grew up. We went to Nathan's grandparents for another Christmas meal!

It has been a blessed Christmas season as we have had an extended time with family, and have been anxiously awaiting John Paul's arrival. However, it was a Christmas in which Lauren greatly missed her grandmothers and aunt.